Today my precious Gram passed away.

This came as a complete SHOCK! If you knew her, you would know that she was so healthy and could out shop me and my sisters any day.

I’m so upset and in disbelief. Thankfully, we just saw her 3 weeks ago for my nephew’s party and she was living it up (remember the military birthday party pics). We always joked with her that she would be here another 20 years. Today, before we found out, I just was mailing her pictures of her and Abel. I was telling my mom that I’m glad I have photos of the 2 of them so Abel can know his GG (great gram) and then laughed and said, “but you know she will be around till he is 20 years old!”

I feel so sad. She died alone in her house. We don’t even know when she died!!! We think it was last night. Today, her neighbor came over and found her in her nightgown sitting in her chair wrapped in a blanket. She died a little old lady in her sleep. Thank God she felt no pain!

Lately, she had been complaining how cold she has been. When she was here a few weeks ago, it was 90 degrees and she had a sweater on and was telling us how cold she still was. We thought she was crazy. When my mom took her home this last time, she told my mom she wasn’t going to make it through the winter.

I personally believe she died of a broken heart. My pop pop died 18 years ago and ever since then she has said she wishes she could die so she could be with him. We always would get mad at her when she would say that. And every time she would visit us she would tell us she thought this would be the last time she would see us. She even brought our wrapped Christmas presents up with her this last visit b/c she said “If I’m not here, you will all have your gifts.” We all just laugh and say “Oh, Gram, you’ll be here.”

I just wish I knew she was going to die. I just want to hug her one last time and kiss her cheek. I wish I would have called her one more time. I know I can’t beat myself up about it, but that is just how I feel. The last time we talked was on Grandparent’s day-Sept 9-and it was a good conversation. We laughed and I told her I loved her. But I still wish I just would have called her one more time.

To my beautiful Gram: I love you dearly and can not wait till we meet again someday in Heaven. I know you are living it up right now!